Diary of an (almost) bikini competitor – Volume 1

Thoughts: SHOW DAY, PREP, FOOD, BIKINIS.

Yup, competing quite literally can take over your life; your thoughts and everything you do. But I’m trying my hardest to not let that happen. In some respects it SHOULD be a large part of my life and it is, because well..It’s only a few months out of my life, it’s important to me and it’s exciting plus I’m really enjoying the process. Having a goal really does make me a happier person (no matter how odd that sounds) Just coasting along through life isn’t what I really want to be doing; and that goes for everything in my life including my career.

However, I am looking into other goals to and I have some for this year which are not bikini related. For instance, I want to learn to drive, because to me it seems almost ridiculous I have rely on lifts aged 20 (almost 21) I have been putting it off for a while and my excuse being ‘I’m too busy.’ Honestly, I am very busy but being able to drive will open up a whole lotta new doors for me and so I’m making it a priority.

The plan is a week’s intensive course.. presuming I pass I want to get my car sorted out pretty quickly and get my ass on the road. I’m SO excited about this, as it’s been a nuisance ever since I decided to spend my holiday in the US rather than learning to drive before Uni (but I certainly don’t regret that) ever since, LIFE got in the way. But I’m not making excuses anymore and IT IS going to happen.

Another goal of mine is fitness related but it’s a little different I guess. I want to get a personal training qualification. Not to be a personal trainer as my full time job but just as something to have under my belt as I study nutrition and having both would be kinda groovy. I’d like to be able to train people in my spare time and be able to claim that I am actually qualified to do so. So, that’s another goal.

But lets talk how my prep is going, my diet..my training, my supplements. Just about everyone is interested in the finer details about how some people choose to do things. Which in a way is a good thing; it can be nice to see a different approach to something. But many of us can often get consumed by this to the extent we lose ourselves; what we love to do and how we want to live our lives.

 JUST BECAUSE SHE’S DOING IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO

So your favourite Instagram ‘fitspo’ has cut all dairy from her diet. Maybe dairy doesn’t agree with her, perhaps she just doesn’t really agree with IT or simply just  doesn’t like it. But I’m sure there’s some sort of reasoning behind it. Naturally, you now feel inclined to question your dairy intake too (I mean it must be bad now right?) Well no, dairy isn’t bad and if YOU enjoy it and it works for YOU then why are  you cutting it out?

There are SO many ways of achieving the same goal. Some may be better than others but you’ve got to ask yourself will this work for you?

DON’T LOSE YOURSELF IN THE PROCESS

I remember a time where I used to literally pretend I hated Pizza. Why? Because I wanted to avoid it at all costs..even with friends. Truth is, I LOVE PIZZA. Okay this is maybe a bad example ‘girl loses pizza-identity’ but you get the picture. The same with foods you feel you should consume but you really don’t like them. Yup, I’ve had experience with this too..a previous coach put tuna on my meal plan. Aaand boy do I hate fish, it’s something I have tried to like but it just not my thing. I ate a can of Tuna whilst almost throwing up with each mouthful, adding various spices to try and lighten the terrible taste but BOY do I hate tuna. Not a good experience and I have overcome this silliness thankfully.

There are no magical powers in Tilapia, no magical powers in broccoli, or chia seeds. If you don’t like them you don’t have to eat them, no one is gonna judge you for it. There is no single set way of eating that is going to allow to reach your destination and I cannot preach this enough.

Yes, healthy food is good and our diets should be made up mainly from lean meats, healthy fats and complex carbohydrates..not to mention lots of veggies. BUT, that odd cookie you’re eating that fits your macros and is keeping you sane could potentially be your lifesaver when it comes to staying on track.

It is important to note of course that not all food is created equally. Yes a cupcake may have the calories or macros as a bowl of oats with some peanut butter but it does not mean it will have the same effect on your body. There’s a lot of science that goes into it but we won’t go into that today. However, if you love cake and you fancy a treat, go ahead and eat the cupcake, it won’t kill you.

The same rule applies to everything; your training, your lifestyle etc.

A lot of us gym goers lay off the drinking which is good in terms of health and if you’re say for instance prepping for a show..drinking will have negative effects on your progress. However, many people who enjoy the gym also enjoy a drink, others do not. But, there are no pressures either side of this I promise. As in, if you enjoy a drink or two now and then and to let your hair down then the fitness industry if not gonna hate you. Likewise, if you’re really not a fan of alcohol or anything that comes with it then there’s no one who’s going to tell you that  you need to drink (apart from a few pushy friends of course, but they’ll back down..eventually) The honest truth is, we put these pressures on ourselves; to be a certain way, to fit in..conform and do what everybody else is doing.

True happiness however, is finding yourself. Being you unapologetically and accepting yourself completely. You know what? I gladly accept that I am a crazy gym lady who likes routine and order but also at the same time loves to eat donuts and go a little off the rails for a night. Because that’s me, I’m not perfect and I in no way claim to be.

Recently, I found myself truly lost in that I didn’t know who I was exactly. I have always loved the gym and fitness, participating in it and learning about it. Whilst this took a step back I began going out, eating till I felt inhuman, drinking whatever the hell I wanted on a weekly basis and neglecting my real interests. I claimed I was ‘having fun’ and when I questioned this others would remind me this is normal and this is balance; how life should be lived. But truly, I was uncomfortable; this lifestyle unsettled me and I was constantly anxious and aware of the fact this wasn’t what I truly wanted.

So, anyway. I’ve moved on from this now and my body has changed a lot because of it.  I’m proud of that; not the way I look physically so much (perhaps a little in terms of how far I’ve come) BUT no, that’s not why I’m proud, I’m proud of what it symbolises; finding me again and being true to myself.

The point I’m trying to make here is that just because eating whatever the hell you want and letting go for the majority of the time is considered normal and sometimes being super healthy and mainly sticking to routine is considered obsessive or odd it doesn’t make a difference to the lifestyle you should choose to lead. And of course it works both ways, just because someone is super duper healthy and works out all the time it doesn’t mean you need to either if you don’t enjoy it.

Often we find that actually our idols are unrelatable; one dimensional and lead unattainable idealistic lives. Yes, this all looks very appealing but is it real? Are they happy? Are they true to themselves? Not always. 

  

It doesn’t matter what other people are doing, don’t let is consume your thoughts and feelings. Put in the effort when it comes to YOU and what makes you happy, it’s really that simple.