Introduction :)

Hi,
This is just an introductory post I guess.
I would just like to share with you how it all began. I was never really over weight, always felt uncomfortable though, would constantly be seeing things I hated about my body. Like many girls, I seeked to 'tone up' I started going to the gym, eating consciously and constantly focused on what I hated about my body. It was as though I was punishing myself, I ate very little and exercised excessively. At the gym i'd run for over an hour, that's all I did. When my body didn't change the way I'd hoped, I began to restrict myself more so, visit the gym twice a day. But what I hadn't realized was that all this was doing nothing for my body, I looked worse but I literally had no idea how to achieve what I wanted, so I carried on. Running excessively and eating very little won't sculpt you a waist, it won't give you that shape you want, it wont fill you with confidence, it will do the exact opposite. As I began to lose more and more weight I was very conscious about my body, I was constantly cold and weak. However, at this time I started looking into weight lifting, I loved the way the girls looked, so strong and shapely. It became apparent to me that if I was going to achieve this I would have to eat a lot more and cut down on the running. I started lifting weights, but was still pretty clueless, I still had trouble eating enough, I thought I was eating more than enough but I feared carbs and filled up on fruit. 
My parents took me to the doctors, fearing I'd lost too much weight.This for me was heart breaking, they were upset, worried about me, and for what? because I'd been stupid. I felt stuck, I wanted so much to gain weight but there was always a part of me holding me back, preventing me from eating and forcing me to workout twice a day. The doctor said I needed to exercise less and up my sugar levels, I remember feeling really embarrassed, although the doctor was lovely, I felt stupid, as though she treated me like someone with an eating disorder. It never came apparent to me until then that I may have one. I obsessed over food, if I'd planned a meal and then there was no say for instance..chicken left in the fridge, I'd panic. If I had to eat out, I'd get really worked up, scan the menu for something healthy, freak out when I couldn't find anything that wasn't drenched in a sauce or fried. 
Soon though, I realized that if I wanted to make a change, I had to be stronger than this ridiculous voice in my head, I made a choice to get where I wanted, to start and never look back. I researched weight lifting and had an image in my head of what I wanted to be. I upped my calories, lowered my cardio and got serious about lifting weights. 
I began at 93lbs, I am now 110 lbs, I'm very proud of my progress. Psychologically and physically it was hard for me to gain that weight, almost every part of me felt as though it was wrong to purposely gain the weight. But I did it, and I cannot wait to gain more. I'm now lifting more than ever, and it feels amazing. I value my health over anything else, strong is sexy, strong is confidence and I love it! 
SO YEAH, that's my story..minus some bits here and there, but I just want to prove to you all that it is very much possible, possible to fight that stupid voice in your head that says you can't, that holds you back. It is possible to become anything you want, no matter how far away you are now.I have created this blog because I know that there are so many girls out there in a similar situation. Sadly, eating disorders are no longer rare. In fact, they are even seen as quite fashionable, with many girls desiring to have one! to me, this is ridiculous, having dealt with one myself they are not something to want. Us girls should aim for health over anything. Before you do anything, think to yourself, is this good for me? am I being kind to myself? Value what you have instead of focusing on the negatives. 
  DO IT FOR YOU.